Three families, one heart

Lifelong friendship continues despite distance for couples connected to WSU, each other 

Across time, life changes, and distance, three couples with deep connections to CAHNRS and Washington State University have maintained an amazing 50-year friendship. 

Married couples Jan and Larry Hiller, Val and Joe Hillers, and Jan and Carroll Hayden have known each other since the 1970s. Each couple married within a few days of each other in 1963 and came to the Palouse to make careers and raise families. Connecting through shared experiences, they eventually found striking commonalities. 

“We became friends the day we arrived,” Larry Hiller said. “Work, life, and similarities as well as differences kept us friends.” 

Careers that helped others 

All six friends worked at WSU, five for WSU Extension or CAHNRS. Arriving first, Jan and Carroll Hayden met in chemistry class during their sophomore year at what was then-Washington State College. Marrying in St. John, Wash., they lived in Pullman for 46 years.  

“We’ve been Cougars at heart ever since 1958,” Carroll said.  

From his office on the third floor of the Compton Union Building, Carroll advised WSU’s student entertainment board in bringing big-name acts like Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder to campus.  

“I let the students lead,” said Carroll, who loved his 33-year career. “I felt lucky to have a job that I looked forward to going to every day.” 

Jan worked in administration for the Department of Animal Sciences, the College of Veterinary Medicine, and Student Housing, as well as for an off-campus business. 

“I got to see many different parts of the university,” she said. 

Next came Val and Joe Hillers, who connected at a graduate student meeting at Iowa State University in the fall of 1961, married in Joliet, Montana, and moved to Pullman in 1965.  

An Extension food specialist and recipient of the CAHNRS Women’s History Award, as well as a WSU alumna, Val Hillers enjoyed a 30-year career educating people and families on ways to prevent food-borne illness. 

Raised on a farm, Joe devoted his life to dairy, developing WSU’s Cooperative University Dairy Students, a now-international program that trains students to manage their own dairy herds. Joe trained more than 160 students during his WSU career, and many of his CUDS alumni now make prominent contributions to the dairy industry. 

Last to arrive were Jan and Larry Hiller, who moved to Pullman with their young children in 1973.  

Involved in 4-H from childhood, Jan and Larry met in college through membership in the Iowa State University Campus 4-H Club. Newly married, they spent four years in rural Uruguay for Larry’s work in agricultural development, before a research job beckoned in Pullman. 

“If we could handle Uruguay, we figured the Palouse would be a snap,” Larry said.  

Jan, a professor emeritus in the Department of Human Development, made 4-H her career, serving as an Extension Youth 4-H Development Specialist. Volunteer development was her specialty and her work touched food and nutrition, clothing, textiles, and home furnishings programs in 4-H. 

 Larry spent nearly 40 years in horticultural research, teaching, and service to vegetable and potato growers, who dubbed him “The Potato Doctor.” 

Both the Hiller and Hillers families established endowments at WSU that continue to benefit students and education in CAHNRS. 

Astonishing commonalities  

All three couples were active members of Simpson United Methodist Church in Pullman. Their friendship developed through their church involvement, and the Hiller and Hillers families shared special connections through their similarly aged families. 

In 1988, as the couples’ 25th wedding anniversaries approached, the friends began to realize how much they had in common. 

“We discovered that we had such a closeness in our past,” Jan Hayden said.  

The group celebrated their triple-wedding anniversaries together over the years—25th, 35th, 40th, 45th, and 50th parties.  

“We made a pact to celebrate together every five years,” Jan Hayden said 

At their golden anniversary at the Pullman country club in 2013, the trio gathered for a photo. Later, one of the friends dug up a photo from their 25th anniversary party back in 1988. 

“Can you believe we posed the same way?” chuckled Larry, who sees so many similarities between friends as little short of amazing. 

“My definition of a coincidence is a little miracle,” he said.  

Which family is which? 

Each couple had two children—a daughter followed by a son. The Hiller and Hillers children, daughters first, then sons, were born in the same year; the two girls, in the same month. Those girls, Marsha and Julie, took part in Bluebirds and Campfire together; their moms were leaders in the same troop. Two boys, Ken and David, were Scouts who earned their Eagle award in the same ceremony.  

The similarities of last names increased confusion for the Hiller and Hillers families. Jan and Val worked together in Extension, while Larry and Joe were colleagues in CAHNRS.  “We all went to the same family doctor, and the same dentist,” Larry said. “Our girls went to the same school and had lockers side by side. Confusion often set in as friends, CAHNRS co-workers, even doctors mixed up the families. “People could never figure out if it’s Jan or if it’s Val?” said Val Hillers. 

After high school, both the two daughters and the pair of sons were ready to make a new start where they would no longer be confused for the other. But both pairs of young people wound up attending the same western colleges.  

“Ken came home during his freshman year at college and said that friends still were getting confused about whether he was Ken or David,” Val Hillers said. 

Today the two couples still get mislabeled Christmas cards. 

“This is how we’ve been united all these years,” Larry joked. 

Keeping their connection 

In retirement, the Hillers and Hayden families moved across the state. Joe and Val live on Whidbey Island, and Jan and Carroll in Vancouver, Wash. Age and distance has made it harder to stay in touch, and the couples missed celebrating their triple 60th.  

But while time has caught up with their bodies, “our minds are still young,” Jan said. She and Carroll still look forward to Pullman visits that let them meet friends, relive memories, and, Carroll adds, “get some Cougar Gold cheese.” 

“When we go back to Pullman, we come over the top of the hill and say, ‘We’re home!'” Jan said. “We don’t want to lose touch with friends who have been such a big part of our history. Our friendship is special, and we’re all determined to keep it going.” 

The Hiller and Hillers families had the chance to reconnect this past May in Pullman, swapping photos and stories and connecting with the Haydens by email. 

Getting back together again, Joe said, “it feels mighty good!”  

“Even though we’re distant, we’ve never been separated from these friends,” Larry added.